Crazies Part I

I've been away an awfully long time haven't I. I'd sort of forgotten about my blog to tell the truth. I swang by the other day and saw that a few people had posted comments asking where I'd gone, so here I am.
Here's a little something to get you back in the mood for a day in bed:

The other day I took a taxi home from the airport and feared for my life. The driver was crazy, weaving in and out of traffic, driving at top speed.

My heart was in my mouth, and when he changed lanes three times within five seconds, narrowly missing umpteen other cars, I said something. The following conversation ensued as we continued our race to hell.

ME: "Excuse me, could you perhaps slow down a little please?"

DRIVER: "Slow down? Slow down?! I've been doing this for 21 years! I've got a great track record! I've never crashed before! And I'm not going to start now!"

ME: "Ok."

D: "Ok, you want me to crash?!"

ME: "Ok, keep us safe please."

D: "I know what I'm doing! If I slow down we're going to crash?! Is that what you want?!"

ME: "I was in an accident last year that's all. So I -"

D: "You think you can do better? I know what I'm doing!"

BOYFRIEND: "Cool it mate."

D: "You cool it!"

I shut up. Simply because I thought the driver might crash the car just to spite us. My other half continued.

B: "This feels like a hostage situation."

Now, I failed to mention that the taxi driver was a huge man. Tall and bulky. And nasty looking. Thank god he didn't pull over for a punch up. On the contrary, he got us home in one piece and told us as much.

D: "See, you got home alive."

I had him drop us off on the corner of our street as I didn't want him to know where we lived. And we went to the corner shop at the other end of the street before we went home.