Crazies Part III
Once upon a time, there were two people who fell in love. They loved spending time with each other, getting to know one another, calling each other for no reason, seeing each other spontaneously, joking, fooling around, seeing a future together.
Then, somewhere along the line, the balance changed. She was doing well in her life, he was not. It had always been like that. It just hadn't mattered before. Until things got serious and he started to see himself as inferior to her. This made her see him like that.
She can't see exactly how it happened but she assumed the position of power - giving him moral support, propping him up, helping him find another job, training him for it, taking him shopping for clothes for the interview. He lapped it all up. Sometimes begrudgingly because he was so down. But he still lapped it all up.
She gave him so much in this respect. She helped him. But their relationship disappeared. It became about him, not about them. She felt neglected and unloved. But he was still down and waiting to hear about the job, so she waited patiently. If he got the job, she told herself, things would surely change.
Miracle of miracles, he got the job. But then that was it. There was no more. The road had ended. Their relationship was too far gone to turn back and retrieve it. She was still the elder, only now they were on even footing. The balance was lost.
The girl had to take all kinds of abuse from him when he blew up and expressed how he'd felt the whole time they'd been together. Treated like a child, talked down to, told what to do. She was devastated. If it hadn't been for her pushing him, he would have got nowhere. Only now he was somewhere, he just didn't need her anymore. And the journey there was forgotten.
Then, somewhere along the line, the balance changed. She was doing well in her life, he was not. It had always been like that. It just hadn't mattered before. Until things got serious and he started to see himself as inferior to her. This made her see him like that.
She can't see exactly how it happened but she assumed the position of power - giving him moral support, propping him up, helping him find another job, training him for it, taking him shopping for clothes for the interview. He lapped it all up. Sometimes begrudgingly because he was so down. But he still lapped it all up.
She gave him so much in this respect. She helped him. But their relationship disappeared. It became about him, not about them. She felt neglected and unloved. But he was still down and waiting to hear about the job, so she waited patiently. If he got the job, she told herself, things would surely change.
Miracle of miracles, he got the job. But then that was it. There was no more. The road had ended. Their relationship was too far gone to turn back and retrieve it. She was still the elder, only now they were on even footing. The balance was lost.
The girl had to take all kinds of abuse from him when he blew up and expressed how he'd felt the whole time they'd been together. Treated like a child, talked down to, told what to do. She was devastated. If it hadn't been for her pushing him, he would have got nowhere. Only now he was somewhere, he just didn't need her anymore. And the journey there was forgotten.
posted by Day in bed at
11:07 AM
7 Comments:
A relationship can only work long term if both parties have self respect. Lapping up somebody elses sympathy and help over a long period of time can only make the 'lapper' feel out of control, dependent, and resentful, and in this case behave selfishly. It is not fair to burden somebody else constantly with your problems, and is certainly no grounds for a relationship. She is better off without him!
(I feel like Trisha!)
She carried the torch and maybe some day one will carry the torch for her. l am sure one day this man will realise what has happened. It's time for her to give herself that same unconditional love and attention she gave to him.
I suppose the truth is people must be allowed and encouraged to walk their own paths because the irony - too often - is the minute we try, no matter with what good intent, to help others, either resentment or ingratitude develop. Humans are strange creatures - we seldom see the truth for what it is.
i love how you told the entire story of this relationship in 4 paragraphs
Anyone home?
My friend and I were recently discussing about how we as human beings are so hooked onto electronics. Reading this post makes me think back to that discussion we had, and just how inseparable from electronics we have all become.
I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as the price of memory drops, the possibility of transferring our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I daydream about every once in a while.
(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978023679]r4i ds[/url] DS BlogServ)
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